Are Medications Side Effects Worse Than What They're Treating?

I have been doing really good lately. I've been able to function pretty well and haven't had any bad thoughts. I've been crediting it to the medication. Then yesterday, I was teaching at school and felt light-headed and had blurred vision. I tried to take a step but was so weak I just sat on the floor instead. I had a student to go get the school nurse. By the time she came back, the homeroom teacher came to pick the class up... so thankfully none of the students saw what followed next. The nurse asked me if I could get up and walk to a chair and I tried but couldn't. She brought a rolling chair over and I sat down. She took my blood pressure and said it was very high. The assistant principal came in and said they'd get someone to cover the rest of my classes and that I needed to go home. She asked who I could call to come pick me up and then from what they said, I fell to the floor and passed out. They said I was unconscious for a minute or two. When I came to, I started having a seizure. Now, I had never passed out or had a seizure before. The a.p. then made the call to get an ambulance. When EMS arrived I was still seizing and by that time, I could not speak. They put me in the ambulance and they said I was hyperventilating. They gave me oxygen in the ambulance and I calmed down some by the time we got to the hospital. The doctors did chest x-rays and a cat-scan. The test results did not show any problems. All the doctor could say is "We're not clear on why you passed out or had a seizure." So they sent me home. I am still very, very, very weak. I'm thinking that it is the result of the combination of the 5 medications I'm taking which includes Lexapro fro depression and Buspar for anxiety. I have an appointment with my family doctor Monday who prescribed the medications. Now, don't get me wrong, like I said before I am a fan of medication for depression. If it can make me feel normal again, then I'm all for it. But now, I'm believing the side effects are catching up to me. I did my own research, which I'm sure the doctor will hate, but in the medications I'm taking, it listed that side effects could be the symptoms I experienced and some included fainting and even seizures. So how do we fix that? I hope the doctor knows. Cause let me tell you, I don't like these side effects I experienced yesterday.... I was scared to death... I thought i was gonna die. So are the medications side effects worse than what they're treating?

Medication Or No Medication?

Medication or no medication? That has been a big issue among some about dealing with depression. Remember Tom Cruise's and Brooke Shields' debate? Yes, counseling and other things may help but medication can too. I was leery myself. I didn't want to get started on depression medication and be on it for who knows... the rest of my life? I didn't want to feel like I was drugged all the time. I didn't want it to change who I was. Well, the fact was I was not me at that point anyway. Yes the medication can bring about changes in you, especially when you first start taking it. After watching TV commercials and hearing the radio ads where the side effects seem to be worse than what you start with sometimes, it's no surprise that there will be some adjustments to be made. And it does take time. Unfortunately, you're not gonna start taking it when you really need it and be 100 percent better. Even after taking it for weeks, months, or years, you may not feel like yourself again. It's each person's choice. If the medication helps you function as you're dealing with the depression, then take it! Medication or no medication... I say medication!

Do You Have A Support System?

Everyone's so busy... everyone leads different lives... everyone has their own issues they're dealing with. So you kind of feel guilty when you share your problems with others; therefore, people experiencing depression keep things inside many times instead of sharing with others. I am guilty! I kept things so deep inside... a smile on the outside and pain on the inside. When I finally did seek help from doctors and counselors, I heard over and over that a support system is very important... from family and friends that is. And I kept getting asked by doctors and counselors, "Do you have a support system?" Honestly, at that point I did not feel like I had a support system at all! Well, I hadn't really shared what I was going through with too many people... so I thought how could they help and support me if they don't know? I told myself "That's a very good point!" The thought of actually following through with it is scary though... I guess it's the fear of rejection, maybe even the fear of shame. But I began slowly letting people around me know what I had been going through and continue to deal with. It got easier and easier. And yes, it does help! Look at me, I'm now sharing it with the world (if they all read my blogs)! So, "Do you have a support system?"

Men Get Depression Too

Life is hard and it doesn't matter what sex you are... male or female... it's hard! Yes, a lot of men may handle things differently than most women. I know some men who won't even go to the doctor when they're sick.... they think they're too much of a man to seek help. So if some men won't even seek help for a cold, virus, etc.... do you think they're going to seek help for depression? Probably not. I'm afraid that's been going on... men not getting the help they need for depression because of the taboo topic in our society, especially for men. Why is that? I don't know but I was like that too.... until it got so bad and I had to ask for help or else. Unfortunately, not all men come to the point where they say, "OK I need help now," but rather take it into their own hands with devastating results. The ones I knew that took their own life this year were all men... grown, adult, well-educated men. So if you're a man dealing with depression... you are not alone!! If you know of a man who you think may be going through depression... let them know they are not alone! Let them know it's okay to seek help! Man or woman... depression doesn't care! Believe me, men get depression too!

Could They Have Been Saved?

As the year comes to a close, I think about the ones we've lost. I've lost more friends this year than any other year. Some to cancer, heart attacks, and yes, suicide. Just from my small town, there were 3 people I knew that took their own lives this year. Now, I don't know their stories... when it comes down to it, they're the only ones who knew what they were dealing with and what led them to that point. But I believe depression definitely played a part! Depression is a killer! No, we don't like to talk about suicide. But if a small town can have that many suicides, think about the rest of the world. Just this morning I read online that a musician died Christmas day of suicide. It's real... it seems to be happening more and more. So could they have been saved? Did they feel like they couldn't talk to anyone about it? Is depression such a taboo subject that they were ashamed to let anyone know they were dealing with it? If they were able to talk to someone about it, would it have made a difference? If they did talk to someone about it, why didn't it make a difference? I don't know the answers to these questions. I just know that I'm dealing with it and I'm trying to fight this killer... and I don't want anyone asking about me... "Could he have been saved?"

It's Still There!

OK, so I'm either brave or stupid for doing this. I guess that's yet to be determined. It does get frustrated feeling like you have to defend yourself. A lot of people think you're just down like everybody gets once in a while and that you should do like Cher says in Moonstruck and "Snap Out of It!" If it were only that easy. Do they think I I would choose this? It's not as simple as pinpointing something that's bothering you and taking care of it. Sure, there are factors that arise that may make the depression more severe but with or without those factors, the depression is still there. It's a disease! I didn't ask for it. And yes, I did seek treatment for it... just like if someone had diabetes or other illnesses ... but it's still there. It doesn't magically go away. I would like to think that one day it will disappear... never to be heard from again... but in the meantime, it's still there!

I Ain't In The Dirt Yet: First Post

Well, I'm still here! No, life has not gone as I would have hoped. I have had ups and downs in my life and have recently experienced more than my fair share of downs. What happened to all my dreams? Where is the old Danny that was so energetic, excited, and motivated easily? Well, I want the old Danny back... I don't care for this new Danny very much. So what do I do? I'm a smart, educated professional. I love my job and do my job well. As a friend pointed out last night, I have achieved many accomplishments in my life that I should be proud of. He feels there is more to come. I said I wasn't so sure. So what happened? Depression happened. Yep, I said it... that word that nobody wants to talk about... those commercials that you feel uncomfortable watching on TV... yep, that depression! It's real and it can affect anybody... and I'm one of them! Yes, I've done everything I'm supposed to do... counseling, doctors, medication... but it's still there. So how do you overcome something you can't control? I DON'T KNOW! I know I can't be alone... but what do you do next? How do you get your old self back? Will I ever get the old Danny back? Maybe not... but you know what, I'm gonna try! I'm gonna fight this thing! Maybe I can still achieve my dreams... maybe I can turn something bad into something good... maybe I can help others who are going through something similar... Maybe I can get the old Danny back. Cause you know what... I Ain't In The Dirt Yet!!